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                                          Back Stage With Carlos

bullet     On this page there will be News, Gossip and Jokes from the South Florida  music scène.
bullet       If you have any jokes or news I could post here please send it to me. mail@carloshutchins.com

                                               Hot Off The Tongue

     

                   Dear Mr. Bandleader

Dear Bandleader:
We look forward to your performance at our daughter's wedding. If you don't
mind, we would like to request a few of our favorite songs. If you could play
these at some point during the reception, we'd be grateful.
 Any Keith Jarrett composition from his solo series. Please have it for the
full ensemble and none of the 4/4 songs please. Mahavishnu Orchestra, "Dance
of the Maya," and please have the guitarist play John McLaughlin's solo from
the live performance Nov.16, 1972, at Chrysler Arena. My wife and I were at
that show and we particularly liked it. If you find it too difficult, you can
leave out the feedback. Any of John Coltrane's duets with PharaohSanders. 
I understand that their use of atonality is not everyone's cup of tea, but all
our guests love high register tenor saxes.
 We thought a little Stravinsky right after the toast would be nice. We
particularly like the "Infernal Dance..." or whatever it is called, from The
Rite of Spring" (second version of 1932). If you want to use the sheet music
it's OK. We like a tempo of about quarter note = 93 bpm. (Ozawa).
 Then for the "life candle" lighting ceremony, please play Frank Zappa's
The Grand Wazoo". If you want to play it in the original key of Bb, that would be fine
but my cousin Janeene would like to sing the baritone sax solo.
You may have to play that part in another key - she has kind of a high voice.
 When my daughter throws the garter, could you play just a little of Varese's
"Ionization"? It's such a cool piece, we think it would go over really
well. Much better than "The Stripper."
 And for the Bride & Groom's first dance, please slow things down a bit by
doing Barber's "Adagio For Strings". It's so much better than 
Wave Only Just Begun" or "The Anniversary Waltz". When my wife and I join in the first
dance, could you please segue to Thelonius Monk's "Ruby, My Dear". That's in
honor of my wife's grandmother whose name was Ruby. It would mean so much to the family.
 Also, the "logistics" of the occasion in our living room, downstairs rumpus
room and backyard are being purposefully left spontaneous, so we were hoping
your band members could just sort of stroll around and follow the action.
Thanks very much for all your help. We'll certainly be happy to recommend
your band to all of our friends. By the way, the gig pays $350 for the group,
and before you leave, please feel free to ask the caterer for a sandwich and a soda to take with you.
 

                                                                                                        Sincerely,
                                                                                                        The Bride's parents

                      Great Lies of the Music Business

 

  1. The booking is definite
  2. Your check's in the mail
  3. We can fix it in the mix
  4. This is the best dope you've ever had
  5. The show starts at 8
  6. My agent will take care of it
  7. I'm sure it will work
  8. Your tickets are at the door
  9. It sounds in tune to me
  10. Sure, it sounds fine at the back of the hall
  11. I know your mic is on
  12. I checked it myself
  13. The roadie took care of it
  14. She'll be backstage after the show
  15. Yes, the spotlight was on you during your solo
  16. The stage mix sounds just like the program mix
  17. It's the hottest pickup I could get
  18. The club will provide the PA and lights
  19. I really love the band
  20. We'll have it ready by tonight
  21. We'll have lunch sometime
  22. If it breaks, we'll fix it for free
  23. We'll let you know
  24. I had nothing to do with your marriage breaking up. It was on the rocks long before I ever met you
  25. The place was packed
  26. We'll have you back next week
  27. Don't worry, you'll be the headliner
  28. It's on the truck
  29. My last band had a record deal, but we broke up before recording the album
  30. Someone will be there early to let you in
  31. I've only been playing for a year
  32. I've been playing for 20 years
  33. We'll have flyers printed tomorrow
  34. I'm with the band
  35. The band drinks free
  36. You'll get your cut tonight
  37. We'll supply someone for the door
  38. You'll have no problem fitting that bass cabinet in the trunk of your car
  39. There'll be lots of roadies when you get there
  40. It's totally compatible with your current program
  41. You'll have plenty of time for a sound check
  42. This is one of Jimi's old Strats
  43. We'll definitely come to the gig
  44. You can depend on me
 

 

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